Movies/Theater

Barbershop – The Next Cut: Meh

Before you read this, I want you join hands with the person next to you and join me in prayer.

Dear Sweet Lord Baby Jesus, sitting in your highchair way up high, playing Clash of Clans on your iPad Mini 3, I beg of you…please Lord, in the name of all things good in this world, let this be the last of the Barbershop series. It gives me guh, on muvas. Amen.

Let’s not kid ourselves, who really expects this movie to be great? I’ll wait… While I’m waiting, let’s think back to how this series began.

Barbershop – Calvin sells the barbershop, struggles to get it back.

Barbershop 2 – Calvin struggles to save the barbershop.

And now, Barbershop 3 – I won’t spoil the plot in this one, but I’m sure you can guess the gist of it.

I needed this movie to have an identity. It didn’t. I needed this movie to be funny. It was, at times. I need this movie to have a message. It did, and the message was great if you’re an impressionable teenager (or pre-teen). I needed this movie to be appropriate for my pre-teen. It wasn’t, at all. Not to sound like a prude, but I kinda saw some buttcheeks, heard some crude anatomical references, Eve bending over to get IT, Nicki Minaj…well, she’s just phat den emug. My pre-teen daughter has been begging to take her to see this movie, and after watching it, I just can’t, which is where the message, and the movie, is lost on me.

Some personal notes:

  • I can’t buy Tyga being a thug, onscreen, or in real life. Ever.
  • Nicki’s butt implants have improved. Are those new?
  • Common’s acting is horrendous.

Dear God, please, hear my prayers. Ooomshallagoom, shock-shock.

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