Grammar Lessons For The People

Grammar Lessons for the People

So before I jump into these posts, I need to do a little introduction to them.

In my past life, before I decided to cast in my lot and become a starving artist and entrepreneur for a living, I was an English teacher. For nine grueling years, I taught high school English in Prince George’s County Public Schools. I was never too surprised when my students displayed very little mastery of the English language, and I spent a lot of time on grammar with them, to make them better writers.

It was not until I became an editor, however, that I really saw just how little people actually know about grammar and how to correctly manipulate the English lesson. It was during one particularly painful Ph.D dissertation that I had the honor of editing that I realized that adults needed grammar lessons just as much as children did. (First of all, this woman had made it through grade school, undergraduate school, graduate school, and was working on her Ph.D. and did not know the difference between their, they’re, and there. I just don’t get it.)

Thus, the #grammarlessonsforthepeople series was born. Several times a week, on my personal Facebook page, I post a grammar lesson, usually chosen from a list of submissions from my readers. I use wit, sarcasm, and practical examples to teach grown ass people grammar lessons they should’ve learned in grade school, because as adults, their grammar ain’t shit. I’m tired of seeing “your beautiful” and “the dress is mines” and I won’t stand for it any longer.

I decided that I would save the world, one sarcastic grammar post at a time. Twice a week, I will be sharing these posts here, for your educational enrichment and personal enjoyment. If you have a grammar peeve that you want me to address, please share it with me, and I’ll create a post for it. I really hope you enjoy these grammar lessons. And if you hate them, read them anyway. You’ll probably learn a thing or two from them. So, without further ado, here is the first #grammarlessonforthepeople featured on CiTLR.

Have an awesome week!

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(originally posted on September 6, 2016)

#grammarlessonsforthepeople

Today’s post is dedicated to everybody who still wore their white pants today. Bless your hearts, you little renegades. I see you… and I salute you.

Brought vs. Bought vs. Brung

So many of you sent this one to me that I had to address it. Brought and bought are different. Like, a lot different. They are the past tenses of two different verbs.

Brought: (verb) past tense of bring
Bought: (verb) past tense of buy/purchase
Brung: (nah, fam) Not a word. Ever.

Use brought when you’re referring to something you physically took somewhere. Use bought when you’re referring to something you purchased. Use brung never. Not ever. Because it’s not a word.
(And listen. When I tell yall something isn’t a word and should never be used, love your aunties and pastors and baby daddies enough to call them out when they slide these non-words into their conversations and sermons. Love them enough to let them know!! It’s the right thing to do!)

Watch.

She brought the snacks she bought at Family Dollar to the movies. Because who is actually paying for movie snacks? Not me. Tuh.

Similar words. Both past tense. Two different verbs.

Brought– bring
Bought– purchased
Brung– just… no. No.

One more time in case yall missed it:
1. Yes, I sneak snacks into the movies. And whole meals. Yes, I will unabashedly unwrap an entire steak and cheese sandwich or eat chicken wings with mumbo sauce in the theater. Shamelessly. Shout-out to big purses.
2. Brung is not a word. Not ever. And no amount of thumb sucking, baby hair gelling, or Chinese slippers wearing makes it okay for use. So just stop.

Got it, beloved?

Good. Be a blessing today and correct someone’s grammar.

#thenerdyeditor
#thepettyeditor

 

 

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