It was a hot, summer day.
I was about 19 at the time.
I decided to run to the dollar store by my house to grab something.
I was wearing a strapless top, jean shorts, and flip flops. I’m walking around the store when one of the workers starts following me around saying I should be his girlfriend. This wasn’t a 20-something guy, this was an old ass man in his 50/60’s.
I’m brushing him off. I said I had a boyfriend. I said I wasn’t interested, and then I just stopped responding.
He’s literally following me from aisle to aisle. In my space, on my heels, just talking mess I’m not even remotely interested in. I finally had enough of him harassing me and was heading to the front of the store to leave when he reaches down my strapless shirt and grabs my breast.
Let me say this again. In the middle of an aisle, in the middle of the day, in a fucking dollar store with other patrons, this old, disgusting man who I have never met decided that it was okay to reach down my shirt and grab my breast.
Immediately, I left the store. I got in my car and I cried the entire 5 minute ride to my house. I walked into my house, pass my family, to my room, locked my door, cried and slept that horrible moment away. My parents have always talked to me about inappropriate contact. In fact, I always thought they were more on the paranoid side when it came to folks bothering little girls when I was growing up. I didn’t spend the night over anyone’s house that wasn’t trusted. If there was a brother or older man in the house, it was an absolute a no. They protected me. And yet, at 19 years old I could not bring myself to tell them that someone had just violated me.
I felt so ashamed. I was disgusted. I was embarrassed. Here I am with A-cups, and some freaking pervert is bothering me, of all people. ME?!!
Who’s going to believe me? I know my parents will, but I don’t want this to be a big deal.
I just wanted to forget it ever happened. As I tried to protect myself, I denied my parents their right to protect me. And, I regret it. By protecting myself, this asshole, whoever is, he went off to do whatever he does to whoever else he wanted. And he does not deserve that. He deserved to have a foot in his ass, and that whole store deserved to be shut down.
My experience is not unfamiliar. My emotions and thoughts are not new news. There are sooooo many woman out here that are struggling and dealing with having been violated. Real horror stories within your circle of friends and family. Some with violators that you know. Me Too isn’t a hashtag trend. It’s real fucking life to a lot of women.
You pick the side of a person who has played a fictional character on a tv show. Willing to overlook the monster because the mask is prettier and friendlier. You question the victims because its been years and why now. You blame them for being there in the first place. He’s a role model. He was an icon. Fuck him. And, you, if that’s what you support. If that’s the type of person that you are willing to put your name behind and defend, you’re no different than the relative that does nothing when the child says Uncle so and so touched me.
Unwanted behavior/actions are wrong. Non-consensual behavior/actions are wrong.
No means No.
Stop is Stop.
I pray for those that are suffering in silence.
To all the young girls who grew into women that are hiding scars left by a piece of shit, I love you!
To all the young girls too embarrassed and ashamed to tell somebody, I love you!
To the young man, who was too afraid to tell someone, I love you!
To anyone who has been violated, you are not alone, and it is never too late to tell someone.