Basketball

Smitty The Accuser’s REAL NBA Preview!

What does the NBA and spinal cords have in common?

They are both back.

And man am I excited! We left off with Kawhi Jeffrey Jordan hoisting that beautiful, golden, Larry O’brien trophy with his former team, the Toronto Raptors. Since that very moment, it’s been pure pandemonium.

Cue the music…sing with meeeeee….

“Yo its AD, KD, Zion, Kyree, PG, Russy, Bradley, about three 1st’s, (what!) Horford, Jimmy.

Now, that we got that out of the way, come join me on this journey because obviously are ready to go through the league with me.

Let’s start where every single NBA preview starts, in L.A. There’s a legit debate to be had that thee three best players in the entire NBA all play in Staples Center. The Lakers shook the world when they finally pulled off the Anthony Davis move. Then the Clippers countered by pulling some Grand Theft Auto V-type heist mission, swiping Kawhi AND Paul George at the same damn time.

I cant think of a time in my lifetime where there was such an arms war between the two franchises at the same time. Lebron now has his best teammate yet, coming off a long summer break that he never knew he needed, can a refreshed body, restocked squad, and new motivation of redeeming an abysmal debut season in purple and gold lead The King back to the throne? I think so. Him deferring more than he ever has will lead to an Anthony Davis MVP ceremony. That being said, it will be an absolute tragedy if we dont get Clips vs Lakers in the playoffs this year.

We need that.

Image result for 76ers

The team I’m invested in most wanting to see this year is the Philly 76ers. Man, am I gonna enjoy watching them play that 90s-type hoop. With no one below 6’7 in their initial five-man lineup, they will be a problem night in and night out. They are huge, but they have the skill to make smallball teams have to counter them instead of the other way around. Al Horford will be the best thing to ever happen to Joel Embiid. They are a Ben Simmons-jumper away from being pretty much unstoppable. With or without that jump shot, I see no reason that mob isn’t facing the Lakers in June.

Whats good with Zion?

The man who caused more black people than ever to root for Duke, was supposed to be blasting off this week. Instead, we’re gonna be getting to see his wardrobe, as he will be starting the season on the shelf. It went from precautionary, to a few weeks, to eight weeks. At this point, no surprise if we don’t see him this season, which would be a fucking drag. I’ve spent more time over the summer than i care to admit debating with OG hoop fans about him maintaining health. Has their ever been a more polarizing body type in the NBA? Even with Zion out for the forceeable future, I see his teammate, Lonny Ball being NBA’s Most Improved Player. He just looks like he’s free now…between starting his career in his hometown of L.A. and his father, those hindrances that held him from playing like a #2 overall pick are out of the way.

Clear the runway.

That will be a fun squad to watch, even without Zion.

Biggest upset of the summer (technically fall but hey, who’s counting?) was Bradley Beal re-upping with his bad product producing, shell of a franchise in Washington. That unforseen contract extension siced me big time. A good move for both sides. While it doesn’t mean he can’t request to leave next summer, it just was a breath of fresh air for that trash organization that I root for to get any type of commitment from a rising star. I think Beal takes a leap this year into the upper echelon of the NBA with a 30 ppg-type season, leading his bad team to a race for the 8th seed. That will be amazing, because that roster is tuuuurible.

Few lil tidbits before I get ready for opening night. I know they played together, previously. But I have no idea how its even gonna look with Harden and Westbrook on the floor together. We may have never had two heistboxes of this magnitude on the same squad. Good luck to them boys.

Giannis is like that. The end of that.

Steph may put up some legendary numbers, this season. The Warriors will absolutely be a story to watch all season. Crazy how quick a squad can go from “I’m tired of them winning” to “They won’t make the playoffs”. I think they for sure will make the playoffs, and teams will purposely lose to avoid them in the 1st round.

I think Bulls and Knicks will be surprise playoff teams.

Julius Randle will be an All Star.

Spurs will be the surprise team NOT to make the playoffs.

CP3 will end up with Heat.

Hornets will have one of the worse records ever in NBA History.

Kevin Porter will be rookie of the year.

Kentavious Caldwell Pope has given us the best lessons on “How To Rob” since 50 Cent.

I need Proposition Joe’s Brother, Isolation Joe, back in the league this year.

Carmelo Kaepernick would had been better off taking a knee.

For my local wizards fans, Caron Butler is already off to a poor start as Wizards commentator. Look at this RKO out of nowhere ass headpiece. Lord.

Alright now, thats all I got. Enjoy hoops. Oh, and Go Nats!

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