Movies/Theater

THE 2016 BET AWARDS RECAP

OK, as I sit here watching the festivities, I took notes. A “running diary” if you will.

If these notes sound like I’m rambling…it’s because I am.

Here goes.

 

I think for a quick moment, I became a member of the Beyhive. Like for a second. Like, no BS. Of course I continue to be amazed by Kendrick Lamar. I’m looking forward to seeing how the rest of his career plays out. He seems like he’s destined for the crown.

Beyonce

Anthony Anderson and Tracee Ellis Ross are awesome hosts. BET would do themselves a great service if they signed them on for the foreseeable future.

 

Taraji P. Henson shouldn’t wear see through dresses. That’s all I got on that.

 

Who the hell is Bryson Tiller and why did he win over Tyrese? Black Rose may be the best R&B album I’ve heard in years.

 

At some point, way down the line in Kanye West’s career…he’s gonna have to answer to the Music Gods for the career of Desiigner. It’s the same time when R. Kelly’s gonna have to pay for ripping Aaron Hall off, and Ja Rule will have to pay for DMX.

 

MC Lyte seems to appreciate in value like mint condition ’67 Chevy. Pardon the crude comparison, but she just gets more and more beautiful as she gets older.

 

Karrueche!!!! Hey Breezy, I understand now.

Karrueche-Tran--BET-Awards-2016--05-300x420

 

***THIS JUST IN FROM THE DESK OF CAPTAIN OBVIOUS*** Dave Chappelle’s on the juice!!!

 

Erykah Badu’s ass is the worst kept secret in all of R&B music, yet she still insists on wearing 17 articles of clothing while performing. Get over yourself. “Window Seat” happened.

 

Bilal always seems to miss me, but his tribute to Prince was great. Hats off to the guy. Also, I’ve checked the numbers, and it seems that only Bilal and Pusha T are the only two guys left on Earth that still wears their hair that way. Stubborn rebellion. I can dig it.

 

Fat Joe seems to have found some of the weight he lost (hello pot). I still don’t know the significance of French Montana and to this day I have successfully avoided any and all music with his voice on it. I view that as a personal badge of achievement, and wore said badge proudly. The streak was broken last night. Now that I know I haven’t missed anything, a new streak begins. Cal Ripken.

 

I thought I saw an ankle bracelet on Remy Ma. Did she get home before curfew? Looks great though.

Remy

**Can we take a pause for a minute? Am I the only person that sees how all of the artists get brand new when they know they’re on camera? Like they really are immersed in the song and the performer? Don’t you love the part where they’re mouthing the words…WRONG?! Aight, where were we?**

 

BET, if you mess this New Edition biopic up, you’re gonna feel the wrath of an entire generation reign down upon you. I’ve seen your original programming, and let’s just say that I’m worried for all parties involved. I’ve decided to watch it under protest.

 

The exact moment anyone, and I mean ANYONE figures out what Alicia Keys was trying to accomplish with whatever it was she was doing, please notify me forthwith.

 

I was underwhelmed by the Stevie Wonder/Tori Kelly Prince tribute. My adoration, admiration, and huge respect for Stevie prevents me to make any jokes about his hair or lack thereof. Nope. Ain’t gonna do it.

 

Bey showed up to perform and still gave us shade. The moment she finished playing in the kiddie pool, she blew that popcorn stand expeditiously.

 

I saw the trailer for “When The Bough Breaks.” Can’t help but think we’ve seen this movie before. Wait…didn’t a movie JUST come out like this called “The Perfect Guy”?! Wanna see that movie done better? Go see Fatal Attraction, Single White Female, The Hand That Rocks The Cradle, Cape Fear, The Fan, and about THIRTY OTHER MOVIES THAT HAVE THE SAME. DAMN. THEMES. AND. CONTENT. Nice to see Morris Chestnut is still working though.

 

Oh…THAT’S Bryson Tiller?! I’ll have to check the young lad out. I like what I’m hearing. Apple Music though. I’m not gonna pay a lot for that muffler.

 

Maxwell’s falsetto is a godsend. His natural voice is a stomach virus and should be Ned Starked. Loved his Prince tribute.

 

Jessie. Bleepin. Williams. Here’s hoping he gets killed off of Grey’s Anatomy and decides to get into politics full time. He’s got the glow. Bruce Leroy.

jesse-bet

 

Fantasia had some nice earrings.

 

If I ignore Future, he’ll go away. I mean, if someone kidnapped him I would want them to find him, but I wouldn’t go as far to solicit the help of Seal Team 6.

 

Janelle Monae killed. Band was possessed and she was electric as always. Far better a vocalist than I initially thought.

 

Anthony Anderson’s ass out pants made me cover my young son’s eyes. No one should have to see that. Prince got a pass for those like hell.

 

I used to clown Sam Jackson, but he’s a damn grinder. Doesn’t turn down anything but his collar. I may criticize some of his work, but his cable will never get turned off. That’s for damn sure. Respect.

 

Let’s just act like I spoke on the Usher performance and move right to Sheila E’s Prince Tribute. She destroyed. Those horns, and those shots. Shots everywhere!!!! Love the band and she went ham on the timbales. Great, and I mean great tribute to a R&B colossus.

sheila-e

 

I am a huge critic of the BET awards, but this year and possibly for the past few years, I’ve had nothing but praise. It’s no longer a mess and it flows very smoothly. I love to see us come out, show out, and shine. High praise all around. Yes, this is Mike talking. Jerk.

 

 

Facebook Comments
To Top